Today I woke after three to four hours of sleep last night. Why a lack of sleep lately? I’m working on it; I simply don’t know. However, days like this I get in these philosophical moods. I tend to write, write and write some very lengthy responses to simple questions. Whatever is going on in my brain gets written on paper or computer screen without thinking of formatting, tone, and all that other writer’s mish mash. So bare with me as I try to get this out.
When I first became sober, I heard this in a meeting and had absolutely no clue what they were all talking about. To this day, I have trouble doing this and I see those with long term sobriety struggle with this sometimes. We are not perfect human beings. In my experience, life tends to throw me curve balls at the most inappropriate time in my life. But today, I have learned to deal with – its called acceptance.
Acceptance in human psychology is a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it or protest it.Wikipedia – Acceptance (forgive me, not the best source)
For instance, almost on a daily basis, I almost get hit by a motor vehicle. I will be standing at a crosswalk, clearly marked with yellow arrows, enter the crosswalk when its clear, yet have a car zoom by me or honk because I’m impeding their way. Technically the motor vehicle law in New York says, “When there is no traffic control signal, drivers must yield the right-of-way to pedestrians in the crosswalk. (Sec. 1151). ” Old me – flip the bird, yell obscenities, throw something at the passing car. Today, I just take a deep breath and accept the ignorance of other people.
A few weeks ago, I had just gotten half way through a crosswalk like above when a car with an elderly lady literally grazed me turning left at the intersection. At the time, to make matters worse, I was wearing a bright yellow “Traffic Control” jacket a friend had given me for the winter. Right at the moment, all I could do is feel sorry for the woman who probably had no clue I was even there! Even city cops don’t stop, most of the time!
SIDE NOTE: I can’t stop laughing, as this JUST happened.
I went to smoke a cigarette, so I have to walk up and across the street where this crosswalk is. As I come back across the crosswalk, I’m halfway through when a car passes me behind my back and BAM, sirens go off. A New York State Trooper just gave a driver a ticket for NOT stopping until I was clear of the crosswalk. Well that is my hope anyway.
While this may be something I try to practice on a daily basis , I am not perfect. I still have a short fuse when it comes to ignorance and stupidity. However, I have learned when I did my 4th Step:
We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, How It Works, p.67
Things are going to happen in our lives, we can not control. I gave up that control in my 3rd Step. I am no longer the Director; my Higher Power is my Director. I simply do what is asked of me to the best of my ability, “One Day at a Time”.
Someone is probably saying, “Enough already!” That’s okay. I’m actuallly cutting this short because I have a “Nooner” meeting to attend. So everyone have a great day. My goal is to finish another post, still a draft, about my Easter weekend.