More work is needed

It’s been nine days since I had a cigarette, until now. Yes, I caved in. After yesterday, it showed me I have yet a lot of work to do on myself.

Yesterday I did what I needed not to smoke. But at the end of the day I didn’t like who I was becoming. I was scared, “mad at the world”, bitchy, complaining and a complete and utter asshole. Oh, how I was.

But I’m not going sit on the pity pot because I failed. I could blame myself, others for not supporting me, etc. I’m not. At a very minimum I tried; I gave it the best attempt I could. Perhaps in time, I’ll reach a place.

All day I was looking for answers. Why am I like this? What am I missing? Here I have gone through a comprehensive program from alcoholism and nicotine is now kicking my ass. Isn’t it all the same? Why…why…why?

Perhaps I just answered my own question – stop fighting and trust in the process?

So be it. It happened. I take responsibility for it.

You’re only as sick as your secrets you keep.

DR – May 24, 2019

Daily Recovery Readings
May 24, 2019


Daily Reflection

“HAPPY, JOYOUS, AND FREE”

“We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn’t do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.”

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 133

For years I believed in a punishing God and blamed Him for my misery. I have learned that I must lay down the “weapons” of self in order to pick up the “tools” of the A.A. program. I do not struggle with the program because it is a gift and I have never struggled when receiving a gift. If I sometimes keep on struggling, it is because I’m still hanging onto my old ideas and “. . . the results are nil.”

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.


Big Book Quote

“When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is or He isn’t.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 53~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

In twelfth step work, the second thing is confession. By frankly sharing with prospects, we get them talking about their own experiences. They will open up and confess things to us that they haven’t been able to tell other people. And they feel better when this confession has been made. It’s a great load off their minds to get these things out into the open. It’s the things that are kept hidden that weigh on the mind. They feel a sense of release and freedom when they have opened up their hearts to us. Do I care enough about other alcoholics to help them to make a confession?

Meditation of the Day

I should help others all I can. Every troubled soul that God puts in my path is the one for me to help. As I sincerely try to help, a supply of strength will flow into me from God. My circle of helpfulness will widen more and more. God hands out the spiritual food to me and I pass it on to others. I must never say that I have only enough strength for my own need. The more I give away, the more I will keep. That which I keep to myself, I will lose in the end.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may have a sincere willingness to give. I pray that I may not hold back the strength I have received for myself alone.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Letting the Cycles Flow

Life is cyclical, not static. Our relationships benefit when we allow them to follow their own natural cycles.

Like the tide ebbs and flows, so do the cycles in relationships. We have periods of closeness and periods of distance. We have times of coming together and times of separating to work on individual issues.

We have times of love and joy, and times of anger.

Sometimes, the dimensions of relationships change as we go through changes. Sometimes, life brings us new friends or a new loved one to teach us the next lesson.

That does not mean the old friend disappears forever. It means we have entered a new cycle.

We do not have to control the course of our relationships, whether these be friendships or love relationships. We do not have to satisfy our need to control by imposing a static form on relationships.

Let it flow. Be open to the cycles. Love will not disappear. The bond between friends will not sever. Things do not remain the same forever, especially when we are growing and changing at such a rapid pace.

Trust the flow. Take care of yourself, but be willing to let people go. Hanging on to them too tightly will make them disappear.

The old adage about love still holds true: If it’s meant to be, it will be. And if you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, the love is yours.

Today, I accept the cyclical nature of life and relationships. I will strive to go with the flow. I will strive for harmony with my own needs and the needs of the other person.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Edith Bunker: I was just thinking. In all the years we been married, you never once said you was sorry.
Archie Bunker: Edith, I’ll gladly say that I’m sorry – if I ever do anything wrong.

—Norman Lear

We can laugh at Archie because we see a part of ourselves in him. We have lived in a cloud of denial, blind to our faults. If we weren’t actually blind to them, perhaps we just refused to admit them because we did not dare. Changing this pattern takes time and determination. We make progress in recovery when we stop focusing on what is wrong with others and start being accountable for ourselves. We grow when we are willing to amend our lives and accept forgiveness for our mistakes.

A feeling of self-respect flows into us when we stand up and say “I did something wrong.” This statement also says, “I have the strength to face my responsibilities and repair my mistakes.” It is surprisingly helpful to our self-esteem, and it improves our relationships.

Today, I will be accountable for my actions and will admit my mistakes.


Elder’s Meditation

“…in Tunkashila, there is no time. Everything moves in the blink of an eye. It’s as fast as thought. So there is no speed there. There is no time in between.”

–Wallace Black Elk, LAKOTA

There is a relationship between thought and reality. Every thought is alive, and as soon as you think it, a result occurs immediately. However, to make something happen it may take a series of one thousand thoughts before you can actually see it with your eyes. This occurs because the Laws of the Great Spirit act immediately. When you tell a lie, you immediately experience fear. When you tell the truth, you immediately experience freedom. To the Creator, there is no time. For us to experience the meaning of this requires us to act on faith. Faith is belief without evidence.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Sharing a secret may feel like a bold move today. Only you fully know the courage it takes for you to be so open. But if your objective is to invite a deeper level of connectivity into a relationship, your emotional vulnerability could hit the mark. The intimacy of communication that draws two people closer can generate power and momentum of its own. Regardless of the response received, it’s liberating to set free what’s in your heart. It takes guts to be honest.

Where I’m at..right now

Today, I am trying my hardest to stay sober and not smoke. Thus far, this is the hardest day I have had in the week and a couple days after I quit smoking. It’s my short-fused temper. People know – they are looking at me saying, “Mike, you looked pissed off. What going on?” True statement. Now what do I do about it?

It’s only been three hours since I woke up. I was awaken by a knock at the door from a person I sponsor. Again, he had a run in with his roommate telling me all about it. He did good by not getting physical and letting staff worry about the other person. I’m glad for him. But for some reason, it just set me off on this piss ass mood.

Then I had to attend treatment group. Of course, the group topic had to be hope, forgiveness and relationships. Right now, I don’t have much hope – I’m struggling. When asked to talk even the counselor recognized my mood, “Something is bothering you Mike.” So I simply said, “Forgive me for my mood today. I’ll just pass.” There was complete silence because typically I always share. To make matters worse, when I did try to share people were having side conversations and being rude, so I just shut down.

Come home to find my front yard covered, literally, in bread crumbs. My other roommate was sitting on the porch, “Oh that was me. I’m sorry. Mike, you don’t look like you’re in a good mood.” My response, “I’m not” as I had to bite my tongue before I told him what I really thought.

At this point in time it is taking me all my strength not to lash out at everyone. I have no reason to be angry with anyone or even myself. However, every conversation I have had this morning, my temper just starts to bubble out of control. I just don’t like it – I don’t like it at all.

I have a coffee commitment at 11:30 a.m. before the noon meeting. Then another appointment after the meeting. Of course part of me just wants to take a walk saying, “F**k the meeting”. But today, I firmly remember what happened the last times this happened. All the little shit turned into a big resentment and off the the races I went – I drank.

To help myself at this point, I think I’m just going to listen for the rest of the day. I have to remind myself about “tolerance, pity and patience’. Acceptance rings in my head – accepting people, places and things as they are right now. Perhaps I need to practice, say and truly believe in gratitude right now. I feel like I’m fishing for answers with no bait on the end of the hook.

I’m uncomfortable. I don’t like where I’m at. It’s bugging the shit out of me. I need to take a long walk after all this is said and done. It’s then I can be connected with my Higher Power and ask for relief from this insanity. Perhaps this is all in the grand scheme of things – to remind myself, I’m no different from anyone else. We all have good days and bad days. It’s our actions of what we do with it.

As hard as that may be right now, I can’t forget where I’ve been. I really do need to get out of myself. There is a small glimmer of hope “this too, shall pass”.

I’m committed not to drink and not to smoking just for today.

DR – May 23, 2019

Daily Recovery Readings
May 23, 2019


Daily Reflection

SPIRITUAL HEALTH

“When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.”

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 64

It is very difficult for me to come to terms with my spiritual illness because of my great pride, disguised by my material successes and my intellectual power. Intelligence is not incompatible with humility, provided I place humility first. To seek prestige and wealth is the ultimate goal for many in the modern world. To be fashionable and to seem better than I really am is a spiritual illness.

To recognize and to admit my weaknesses is the beginning of good spiritual health. It is a sign of spiritual health to be able to ask God every day to enlighten me, to recognize His will, and to have the strength to execute it. My spiritual health is excellent when I realize that the better I get, the more I discover how much help I need from others.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.


Big Book Quote

“First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 62~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

The Twelfth Step of A.A., working with others, can be subdivided into five parts, five words beginning with the letter C confidence, confession, conviction, con version, and continuance. The first thing in trying to help other alcoholics is to get their confidence. We do this by telling them our own experiences with drinking, so that they see that we know what we’re talking about. If we share our experiences frankly, they will know that we are sincerely trying to help them. They will realize that they’re not alone and that others have had experiences as bad or worse than theirs. This gives them confidence that they can be helped. Do I care enough about other alcoholics to get their confidence?

Meditation for the Day

I fail not so much when tragedy happens as I did be fore the happening, by all the little things I might have done, but did not do. I must prepare for the future by doing the right thing at the right time now. If a thing should be done, I should deal with that thing today and get it righted with God before I allow myself to undertake any new duty. I should look upon myself as performing God’s errands and then coming back to Him to tell Him in quiet communion that the message has been delivered or the task done.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may seek no credit for the results of what I do. I pray that I may leave the outcome of my actions to God.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Enjoyment

Life is not to be endured; life is to be enjoyed and embraced.

The belief that we must square our shoulders and get through a meager, deprived existence for far off rewards in Heaven is a codependent belief.

Yes, most of us still have times when life will be stressful and challenge our endurance skills. But in recovery, we’re learning to live, to enjoy our life, and handle situations as they come.

Our survival skills have served us well. They have gotten us through difficult times – as children and adults. Our ability to freeze feelings, deny problems, deprive ourselves, and cope with stress has helped us get where we are today. But we’re safe now. We’re learning to do more than survive. We can let go of unhealthy survival behaviors. We’re learning new, better ways to protect and care for ourselves. We’re free to feel our feelings, identify and solve problems, and give ourselves the best. We’re free to open up and come alive.

Today, I will let go of my unhealthy endurance and survival skills. I will choose a new mode of living, one that allows me to be alive and enjoy the adventure.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“You see, I just can’t stop! Or tie myself to any one. I have affairs that last as long as a year, a year and a half, months and months of love, both tender and voluptuous, but in the end – it is as inevitable as death – time marches on and lust peters out.”

—Philip Roth

Fears of intimacy, of learning about ourselves in a committed relationship, have kept many of us lonely. Focusing on the need for a sexual high helps us avoid the intimacy we fear. Whether we are in a long-term relationship or not, thinking that sex is love limits our chances for a comfortable intimacy. Sex is an expression of an intimacy that already exists, rather than a way to become intimate.

Many of us fear closeness beyond the romantic stage. Others of us have pursued closeness, but when we met our own emptiness we said that wasn’t the right person for us and ran in search of another excitement. The problem for us isn’t the choice between singleness and marriage, but between letting someone truly know us or not.

I will set aside my fears and learn the pleasure of intimacy.


Elder’s Meditation

“To me, if you’re Indian, you’re Indian. You don’t have to put on your buckskin, beads, and feathers, and stuff like that.”

–Cecilia Mitchell, MOHAWK

The most important thing that determines who we are is on our insides, not our outsides. If we are Indian inside, that’s all that matters. Being Indian means to think right, to be spiritual, and to pray. Feathers and beads don’t make us Indian. Being Indian means to have a good heart and a good mind.

Great Spirit, today, let me think Indian.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Old habits die hard. It’s only natural to assume an obstacle that has been blocking the road for a long time is still there, and for you to carry on with business as usual. But double-check today and you may be in for a pleasant surprise. If you find the path is wide open, move in a new direction while the getting is good. You can progress with the greatest of ease when you are operating with an optimistic mindset. Cast aside all preconceived notions and ignore all distractions. The race is on and all eyes are on you.

One Day at A Time

As I look at my past ten years of sobriety, then my relapse, I have to look at what didn’t work. I had a good program going until I started to do what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted to do things in my life. Since I restarted my journey in sobriety, I only concentrate on “One Day at a Time” literally. I’ve developed a daily schedule, simple yet effective, which helps me to stay sober and allows for peace and serenity in my life.

At the ten year mark, I was in my own place, where I wanted to be, doing what I wanted. There wasn’t a thought I had my alcoholism “licked” because I knew better. It was waiting patiently, waiting for the right time to come back and kick my arse. That it did! Hence, the saying, “..cunning, baffling and powerful”. It wasn’t like drinking my first beer ever in life. I started right back from where I left off ten years ago: one beer the first day, three the next but the end of the week a 12pk, next week I was drinking a good 30 pack a day AGAIN. Remember its a progressive, chronic disease. It never stops until we are DEAD!

When I walk through the doors this time around, I made a commitment LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME. Honestly, I had reservations whether I was going to stay sober until I walked into my first AA meeting – I was home again. So the first thing I do daily is practice gratitude:

  • I’m grateful for my Higher Power for waking me up (I’m alive)
  • I’m grateful to be start another day sober
  • I’m grateful to be a member of Alcoholics Anonymous

If you’re reading this, you know the second thing I do daily to keep myself sober – I take the time to post my daily readings. Why? My sponsor the first time I was sober told me to write each Step down. If we write things down, we have to face them. I do this process with my readings. Instead of just reading them, I actually type them out here. It helps me to remember, perhaps, those things I can work on for my sobriety today.

For instance, as you know I have codependent behaviors, hence the Language of Letting Go readings. These principles are vital in my sobriety. Just like my alcoholism, I must practice these principles daily. One of my roommates takes something out and doesn’t put it back where it belongs. He wakes up in the middle of the night, makes himself a snack leaving the peanut butter jar open with the knife on top. He habitually leaves not one but multiple glasses laying around the house empty after drinking its contents. Deep down it infuriates me. He’s a f**king slob. However, it is NOT my job to clean up after him. Even after multiple times of asking (politely) to clean up his own messes, he just doesn’t want to change. So, daily I remind him, “Mr. X please put X in the sink to be washed.” I can’t change him; he has to be willing to change himself. I have no control over what he does or doesn’t do. The point is I’m not going to “save or take care of” him. I have to practice acceptance, tolerance and pity (an AA principle) – meet him where he’s at, keep my calm and recognize he’s just sicker than me.

The Three
AA Legacies

I recognize from my own past when I am not involved in Alcoholics Anonymous in any way, shape or form I’m walking toward my next drink. No matter what my mood, no matter who may or may not show up, no matter how much I may despise people, how they share their non-existence of experience in meetings or what the weather is outside, I have to attend meetings. I also have commitments; I have responsibilities to show up, not only for myself, but for others. Every meeting I attend, I hear a message I can learn and apply in my own life. Luckily for me, there are at least two meetings a day I can attend to help me stay sober no matter what is going on in my life. Again, this is a vital “action” needed for recovery – going to meetings on a regular basis.

I’m grateful for the residential program where I currently reside because honestly I’m not sure if I could stay sober without the continued support I receive on a daily basis. At times, I may despise this program. For instance, a staff member just came into the house. He didn’t knock or say, “Hello! Is anyone home?” He just came in, ignored me, walked around the house, then proceeds to tell me, “Please sweep the floor” as he’s walking out of the house. I would never just walk into someone’s house. When I worked in the chemical dependency field, we practiced respect for our clients. Again, I have to recognize, my values may not be the same as others and this is a temporary situation. For my sobriety I just bite my tongue, take a breath and move on.

Despite small inconveniences throughout the day, I manage to live a simple yet meaningful life. I may not have a job, my own home, money in my pocket, etc. But I am sober and enjoying life today. It reminds me of the 9th Step promises:

“We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will materialize if we work for them.”  

Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book, pg. 83 and 84

DR – May 22, 2019

Daily Recovery Readings
May 22, 2019


Daily Reflection

STEP ONE

“WE . . .” (The first word of the First Step)

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 21

When I was drinking all I could ever think about was “I, I, I,” or “Me, Me, Me.” Such painful obsession of self, such soul sickness, such spiritual selfishness bound me to the bottle for more than half my life.

The journey to find God and to do His will one day at a time began with the first word of the First Step . . . “We.” There was power in numbers, there was strength in numbers, there was safety in numbers, and for an alcoholic like me, there was life in numbers. If I had tried to recover alone I probably would have died. With God and another alcoholic I have a divine purpose in my life . . . I have become a channel for God’s healing love.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.


Big Book Quote

“When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us!”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 57~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

What impresses us most at an A.A. meeting is the willingness to share, without holding anything back. And pretty soon we find ourselves sharing also. We start telling our own experiences and by so doing we help the other person. And when we’ve got these things off our chest, we feel a lot better. It does us a lot of good to share with some other poor unfortunate person who’s in the same box that we were in. And the more we share, the more we have left for ourselves. Do I know that the more I share, the better chance I’ll have to stay sober?

Meditation for the Day

Constantly claim God’s strength. Once convinced of the right of a course of action, once reasonably sure of God’s guidance, claim that strength now. You can claim all the strength you need to meet any situation. You can claim a new supply when your own supply is exhausted. You have a right to claim it and you should use your right. A beggar supplicates, a son appropriates. When you supplicate, you are often kept waiting, but when you appropriate God’s strength in a good cause, you have it at once.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may claim God’s strength whenever I need it. I pray that I may try to live as a child of God.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Times of Reprogramming

Do not ask for love unless you’re ready to be healed enough to give and receive love.

Do not ask for joy unless you’re ready to feel and release your pain, so you can feel joy.

Do not ask for success unless you’re ready to conquer the behaviors that would sabotage success.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could imagine ourselves having or becoming – and then immediately receiving – what we wanted? We can have and be the good things we want. All good things are ours for the asking. But first, groundwork – preparation work – must be done.

A gardener would not plant seeds unless the ground was adequately prepared to nurture and nourish those seeds. The planting would be wasted effort. It would be wasted effort for us to get what we wanted before we were ready.

First, we need to become aware of our need or desire. This may not be easy! Many of us have become accustomed to shutting off the inner voice of our wants, needs, and desires. Sometimes, life has to work hard to get our attention.

Next we let go of the old programming: the behavior and beliefs that interfere with nurturing and nourishing the good. Many of us have strong sabotaging programs, learned from childhood, that need to be released. We may need to act as if for a while until the belief that we deserve the good becomes real.

We combine this process with much letting go, while we are being changed at the core.

There is naturalness to this process, but it can be intense. Things take time.

Good things are ours for the asking, if we are willing to participate in the work of groundbreaking. Work and wait.

Today, God, give me the courage to identify the good I want in my life and to ask for it. Give me also the faith and stamina I need to go through the work that must be accomplished first.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

‘If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.”

—Rollo May

Those of us who go around trying to be right and do everything right are likely to betray ourselves. We stifle our impulses and control our intuition because we can’t be certain that we are correct. As a spiritual exercise, we could stop now and listen to our inner selves and state our own ideas. What comes out may break the illusion of perfection and free us to proceed with life.

We all have original ideas if we just notice them. What images come to mind while listening to music? What do our dreams tell us? New insights sometimes come by physical activity. Conversation with a friend can help lead us to our wisdom. Our growing strength as recovering men requires that we listen to our own messages and then take some risks to express them.

Today, I will take risks by stating my ideas. I will stand up for myself by listening to my intuition.


Elder’s Meditation

“The earth was created by the assistance of the sun, and it should be left as it was… The country was made without lines of demarcation, and it is no man’s business to divide it…”

–Chief Joseph, NEZ PERCE

There is danger when we start to draw lines and boundaries. This is true whether outside ourselves or inside ourselves. The danger is losing sight of the interconnectedness. When we lose sight of interconnectedness, separation, possessiveness (this is mine, I can do what I want) and infighting results. Even at an individual level, if we don’t believe we are connected to all things we get self-centered and have self-seeking motives. We must think in harmony, balance and integrity. We must see our relationship to the great whole and conduct ourselves accordingly.

Great Spirit, today, let me think beyond boundaries.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Your heart can’t help but grow restless when constrained. Spending time among the perpetually serious can nudge your own mood into a stoic condition, too. Analytically, you understand the value of a rational perspective, but emotions are often illogical. If you feel stifled, take a stroll in the fresh air or put on some music and dance. Do whatever it takes to hit the healthy refresh button on your rich inner life. Author Heidi Dellaire wrote, “Let your heart be free and your soul will fly.”

DR – May 21, 2019

Daily Recovery Readings
May 21, 2019


Daily Reflection

A LIST OF BLESSINGS

‘One exercise that I practice is to try for a full inventory of my blessings…”

— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 37

What did I have to be grateful for? I shut myself up and started listing the blessings for which I was in no way responsible, beginning with having been born of sound mind and body. I went through seventy-four years of living right up to the present moment. The list ran to two pages, and took two hours to compile; I included health, family, money, A.A. – the whole gamut.

Every day in my prayers, I ask God to help me remember my list, and to be grateful for it throughout the day. When I remember my gratitude list, it’s very hard to conclude that God is picking on me.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.


Big Book Quote

“Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we found we could not place money first. For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 127~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

One of the finest things about A.A. is the sharing. Sharing is a wonderful thing because the more you share the more you have. In our old drinking days, we didn’t do much sharing. We used to keep things to ourselves, partly because we were ashamed, but mostly because we were selfish. And we were very lonely because we didn’t share. When we came into A.A., the first thing we found was sharing. We heard other alcoholics frankly sharing their experiences with hospitals, jails, and all the usual mess that goes with drinking. Am I sharing?

Meditation for the Day

Character is developed by the daily discipline of duties done. Be obedient to the heavenly vision and take the straight way. Do not fall into the error of calling “Lord, Lord,” and doing not the things that should be done. You need a life of prayer and meditation, but you must still do your work in the busy ways of life. The busy person is wise to rest and wait patiently for God’s guidance. If you are obedient to the heavenly vision, you can be at peace.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be obedient to the heavenly vision. I pray if I fall, I will pick myself up and go on.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Getting Needs Met

I want to change careers . . . I need a friend . . .I’m ready to be in a relationship . . .

Regularly, we become aware of new needs. We may need to change our behavior with our children. We may need a new couch, love and nurturing, a dollar, or help.

Do not be afraid to recognize a want or need. The birth of a want or need, the temporary frustration from acknowledging a need before it’s met, is the start of the cycle of receiving what we want. We follow this by letting go, then receiving that which we want and need. Identifying our needs is preparation for good things to come.

Acknowledging our needs means we are being prepared and drawn to that which will meet them. We can have faith to stand in that place in between.

Today, I will let go of my belief that my needs never get met. I will acknowledge my wants and needs, and then turn them over to my Higher Power. My Higher Power cares, sometimes about the silliest little things, if I do. My wants and needs are not an accident. God created me and all my desires.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself.”

—Gerald Brenan

As teenagers most of us were very self-conscious and concerned about how we looked to others. That was a normal stage in development. But, for many of us, our addictions began at that age, or the addictions of others affected us. Our emotional development stopped. We didn’t develop an inner reference point, a relationship with our Higher Power that influenced us and helped us weigh other people’s opinions.

In recovery, we resumed our emotional and spiritual development where it had stopped. It is liberating to know that how we feel about something is important. We can follow our interests and pursue our commitments. We need not be ruled by others’ feelings. With our regular pattern of taking our inventory, praying, and meditating, we are developing a relationship with ourselves, which builds character and maturity.

Today, I will give importance to how I feel, what I believe, and what is interesting to me.


Elder’s Meditation

“A vision could put you on a path you don’t want to follow.”

–Archie Fire Lame Deer, LAKOTA

There is a saying, “You move toward and become like that which you think about.” If we keep thinking about a bad thing, we will move in that direction. If we think about fear in some area of our life, we will probably experience this fear. We move toward and become like that which we think about. If we think about secret things, these secret things will come to pass. Our visions are very powerful. Visions determine our direction, our lives. If you think about lustful things, it’s a matter of time before you’ll be wrestling with it. We should think about our visions to make sure they include the Great Spirit in every area.

Great Spirit, today, give me Your vision to follow.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You might come up empty handed if you’re looking for irrefutable proof today. It seems like there are shadows of doubt in every direction. The interplay of light and darkness creates illusions that can be nearly impossible to see through if you’re in a hurry. Be patient and let your third eye take a peek. Your intuition can make sense of material that the logical mind doesn’t immediately grasp. What can’t be explained now, emergent facts may eventually make obvious. The truth will show itself in good time.