Yesterday, the only urges I had to smoke were at home. During the drive and at work I didn’t think about it at all. But the struggle continues . . .
Right now, the first thing in the morning or during my morning routine, is the time when urges are the greatest. Like people say, “Find something else to do with your hands. Change things around. Do something different.”
A fitness program is something I would like to start for 2017. For now, I’m going to do some weight lifting, just right and left curls for now. I feel like there isn’t time to do anything after I wake up. I’m to respectful to my neighbors to do anything in the middle of the night when I get home. I have thought about a Planet Fitness membership. When I come home, I can simply pop in there for an hour or two a day. Then again, I’m moving.
Didn’t I say this is the year of NO EXCUSES. Okay, working on it. I’ll figure something out.
The latest issue is the hole in my exhaust on my car. It’s horrible. Right now I don’t have the money; I haven’t even forked over rent yet. I already slipped by two Tioga County Sheriffs yesterday on the way to work. With the holiday over, perhaps their presence (and that of NYS Troopers) will diminish. I know that its only a fix it ticket but I don’t need the trouble.
I still worry that the alternate side parking ticket that I fought with the City of Binghamton to get a court day is all screwed up. I haven’t received a court date so I don’t know if it’s been written off or I should continue waiting. That’s another issue that I don’t want to stir waters in.
Made first work rant entry private . . . Honestly, I need to make a decision to stay or leave. The gut tells me to leave respectfully, thus I should do it rather sooner than later. Still chewing on it.
Another issue that I struggle with is “not enough time”. For instance, in a 24 hour day, I work 8 hours, travel time is 3 hours, I sleep an average of 7 hours which is a total of 19 hours already gone. I can account for two hours after I get home and go to bed, three hours in the morning before I go to work. I just don’t have time to really accomplish anything. My next day off isn’t until Friday. The last couple of days, my body tells me that I didn’t get enough sleep. Last night I actually went to bed early. I felt like I went to sleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. I woke up in a terrible mood, as if I hadn’t sleep at all. Since I get home at around 12:30 a.m., I try to go to bed sometime between 2 a.m. and 3 a.m. In the morning I typically wake up at 10 a.m. Okay, let’s just be honest with myself. This whole schedule things is really f**k’d up. I need to seriously consider this when thinking about staying at my job or not and/or moving now sooner than later.
I need to relieve some tension (life weights), take a shower and get ready for work . . .