Thus far, I have counted three cravings already this morning. This is typical for anyone starting recovery. It’s been my experience working with other addicts, as well as my own experience, typically day four and five can be the worst for cravings. I know that “it will get better” as time passes. Still, I’m struggling right now.
I delayed putting on my NRT or nicotine replacement therapy (AKA – the patch) this morning simply because I was lazy. It was when the first urge hit me I suddenly reached over for the box and a pair of scissors. But the urge was over by the time the patch was applied.
The trigger that is causing these cravings is my frustration with the WordPress.com site. Typically when I become frustrated, upset and/or angry, I tend to smoke. But in the few hours that I have been on this site, I’m starting to get the hang of things. Thus, my anxiety(?) has decreased.
But just a few minutes ago, it was like my brain flipped a switch; it felt almost like an out-of-body experience. I was suddenly in another place almost unable to control myself. Literally, I had to stop what I was doing, hold the desk and snap myself back into reality. UGH. My mind and body wanted to get up, put my shoes on, get in the store to get a pack of cigarettes.
Those are moments that I need to do something else. I’ve been at this computer since 9 a.m. I should have lifted some weights and be in the shower. Guess I’ll have to skip weights today, hitting the shower now because the more I spend writing the less time I have before I have to leave for work.