There are times, typically several times everyday, I criticize myself for my own laziness. So what is holding me back? Procrastination! I give myself 1000+ excuses finally coming to the conclusion, “I can just do it tomorrow.” Right now, I just don’t have the motivation to do anything, for a variety of reasons.
For instance, my home is a complete disaster. Obviously, I’m exaggerating. It’s not like I’m a secret hoarder or have cockroaches running around. Or am I? [An example of my bad sense of humor]. No, I don’t. But I want this, that, this, that and this done. I literally have a running list in my head categorized by room. The list just gets longer instead of shorter. It’s frustrating. After almost ten years here, I accumulated so much stuff and I need to just simply throw out. But I can’t even do ONE simple thing.
On a day like today, when I work, there are two or three hours to myself before I have get in my car for the hour and a half ride to work. After an eight hour shift, I’m back in the car for the ride home. Typically I sit my fat arse down in front of the TV watching late night television. Fit in eight hours of sleep **quickly doing math** and I have TWO HOURS A DAY left.
I have days off, typically twice a week. But they are sporadic; never the same two days off nor two days in a row (an ideal weekend). I haven’t had an ideal weekend since October 2016. I joke with people, “My schedule changes like the wind.” Literally, every day I have to check the schedule. On many occasions it has changed without my knowledge or I’ve agreed to work such days weeks ago, yet forgotten. But I’m a trooper getting to work early and working as scheduled without an argument.
Something has to change – soon! Again, I say that but I’m so tired these days, I don’t have any motivation to do anything. The new schedule came out at work – wait, what, seriously? I have a weekend in January and I have two days together off at the beginning of February. YESSSS! It just can’t get here so enough.