Two days off, especially a Saturday and Sunday together, are very rare for me as a CNA in a nursing home. My employer even called me this morning asking if I would work today. I politely declined explaining (why I don’t know) I’m working nine days in a row starting tomorrow and (a lie) I was out of town. This started this loopy day; my employers concerns always start loopy days for me. I can’t concentrate on getting anything done.
For instance, I’m going to move closer to work at the end of Winter. After living here for 9 years, you can imagine the accumulation of useless crap. Besides, I want to start fresh. I mean take minimal stuff and buy all new stuff. Crazy, I know but it would be good for me. Everything here is linked to the first nine years of my sobriety, so I need to “Let It Go” and move on.
The weather isn’t cooperating either. We’re under a Winter Storm Warning. The forecasts are from a couple of inches to six inches. Typical weather this time of year: freezing rain/sleet, icy roads, light snow to heavy squalls at times due to high winds. I rather not go anywhere right now.
The other major problem is where to put all this stuff. I just want it all thrown away. But I have things like old printers, scanners, other appliances, etc. I have two large bags of books I need to take to the local library. Again, I just haven’t done it. My Sponsor has a large dumpster, so does work. I’m just afraid I’ll get caught. Why is this so difficult? I make it difficult. The plan was to take one bag or a couple of things either day by day or every few days. I’m just to lazy to transfer it to my car.
So I sit on my computers, attempting to work on something. I just get scatter brained because I want to do this and that but I have to read up on either how to do it or how its changed since the last time I’ve done it. Nothing is easy in computing anymore; technology changes almost daily. Frustrating when one wants to be creative.
The point is I haven’t done crap. I have no motivation; I can’t concentrate on one thing; I’m everywhere, doing everything, putting more and more on my to-do-list. Actually, I think I just need a nap.
Wait…I have cold water back. YES – a shower is definitely needed right now. Then nap and I can start this day fresh again.
You all may return to your regularly scheduled programs…