For the last two weeks I’ve been at peace and content with my life. Financially I’m stable after getting myself in a pickle. My relationship with my Sponsor ended, so I’ve kept it that way, for now. But the wait, waiting for bigger and better things, is hard.
In the month of March, my car was due for a NYS inspection. My tires and brakes had to be replaced. After digging in my pocket, spending the money set aside for my future move, I’m back to square one. But after a impromptu trip to a local casino, I’m back on track. The Gods must have plans for me!
I’m not willing, at this time, to invest in a relationship with my ex-Sponsor. He’s contacted me once with a reply of, “Are you over your resentment?” I’m not holding a resentment. I left all ill feelings at his door when I left. So I was cordial but with a sting, “Thank you asking how I’m doing. Have a nice day!” I’m just not going down that road again.
The weather is not cooperating for me to venture out. It was stormy last week, now its occasional rain for the next couple of days. Perhaps I should look at this as an opportunity to clean this apartment as planned for the last six months. I’m going to make a commitment to myself to, at the least, to throw out things that are stuffed in bags. I mean literally not even look inside – just toss.
While I’m content and at peace where I am in my life, I’m also waiting for bigger and better things. The “I want it now” attitude moves to the forefront of my brain and its hard to keep it under control. I don’t want to slip into making the wrong decisions. I’m pacing myself the best I can. One thing at a time is enough.