The Move & Anxiety Update

Since I don’t update this blog on a regular basis on personal events, let me update those that choose to read here. I have been traveling to/from work 50 miles one way, an hour and a half drive each way, at least five times a week. I vowed to move after Winter was over but events in my life postponed my plans. Once again, the time has come for me to move forward. Therefore, “The Move” is a priority of my life.

I have lived at my current address for almost ten years. A year after I got sober, back in 2007, I went through a sober living program which offered a place to live. In 2009, I moved into an apartment where I continue to reside today. I have repaved my path in life in this place, such memories, are going to be painful when I leave. Then again, I look at it another way; it’s the right time in my life to start a new chapter in my life of sobriety. But it comes with much anxiety.

Much of my anxiety is a result of my own choosing. Selfish as it may seem, I am very picky of where I want to move. Cities and towns have plagued my life, so I’ve decided to look at a more country setting. Unable to buy my own home, I’m looking to still rent and such costs will increase 50% or more. Perhaps because I making move from a one bedroom to a three bedroom? In addition, I will also incur additional costs (fuel for heat, propane for cooking, etc.) Even cable services will increase dramatically since major supplies like Spectrum/Time Warner Cable don’t service the area. Yikes! What the hell am I thinking? I’m still crunching numbers with my salary and expenses, but based on the higher cost of living where I work, it might be feasible. Or am I kidding myself?

I’m just viewing properties and gathering information. But it’s becoming a monumental task. Perhaps this is why I have delayed it for so long. I’m comfortable where I’m at and the expected expenses. However, the downside is the cost of repairs to my car. If I don’t have a car, I won’t be able to enjoy the benefits of working where I am.

On thing I’ve learned from my past – don’t rush things. Recently I’ve found an acronym for STOP: Stop, Think, Observe, and Plan . Like my sobriety, I’m taking this one day at a time. I’m not overwhelming myself with information. One property, research a few things and put it aside for a different day. It’s not something I have to make a decision right now. Yes, its getting to be an urgent situation but I’ve come to accept “it will happen when it happens”.

Honestly, I can’t wait to move to start a new chapter in my life. It just won’t be today.


3 thoughts on “The Move & Anxiety Update

    1. There is always a trade off when you want something. For me I’m willing to pay the cost of living in peace and quiet with nature all around me. The worries of the city life (neighbors, crime, traffic, stupid people in general, etc.) tire me out to no end. As I grow older, I prefer my solitude 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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