The Current State of Affairs

It’s been over a week since my move into my new home. I have been doing nothing but work, work and work some more. Since I’m much closer to work it gives me an opportunity to pick up shifts for some extra needed money. Remember, I moved in with literally nothing. There is a cost for my decision. How things have quickly changed from peaceful and serene to a state of restlessness, irritability, and discontent.

heart_20170709 Sunday of last week I picked up this cutie from my Sponsor. Her name is Heart. She’s 19 years old (supposedly).  “Grandpa” (as I now call my ex-Sponsor) could not care for her anymore. How I quickly forgot the responsibilities of a kid in the house! It cost me nearly $50 to get her all set up in the house. She no longer has to fight with her sister over food and can get all the love in the world from me (if I were home). This picture represents the stare I get in the morning when I’m sitting on the floor, typing on the computer and she wants attention. What am I to do but oblige! She’s irresistible. But she misses her sister dearly, as she howls in the middle of the night but

But at times she can be the devil too!  She misses her sister dearly or me howling in the middle of the night. Thankfully that behavior is diminishing. She also likes to wake me up between 6 a.m. and 7 a.m. because she wants to be fed. Yesterday I ignored her, so she began to lick my nose until I woke up! Lastly, anytime I’m awake it’s all about her, “Dad, I want loves …” **purr, purr** . I feel bad for leaving her for so long sometimes.

It’s just “the same shit, different day” at work. Last week, I worked 10 hours overtime. I am also working a total of eleven days straight before I get a day off. I’ve come in early and did a double shift (16 hours) the other day. This is my fault because I told them I was available. Therefore, I’m simply doing as agreed.

frustrationaltanakaI’ve tried, as much as possible, to ignore the whining of my co-workers. But when you have competent residents who start to act like children, it can get overwhelming. I’ve talked to three residents, who others simply ignore, reminding them there are sixty residents in the building and their behaviors are rude, disrespectful and getting quite annoying for someone as old as them. I wasn’t mean nor yelling, I was just stern. It seemed to work in the last 24 hours. On the other hand, I’ve been told by various employees and residents how much they appreciate all the hard work I put in. Some are thinking of going to the Administrator (who I haven’t even met) to let her know of my dedication to the job. I don’t expect anything. I’m there because I like my job, despite the constant obstacles and I truly care about the well-being of my residents, as a CNA should be.

Lastly, I have begun to get to meetings again. It hasn’t been consistent but I’m going.  The meeting I have gone to I’ve made my home group. There isn’t much a choice for a Sponsor, so I’m going to wait until I get to other meetings. My home group is very receptive to my knowledge and experience of the program.

I know things will work out in time; I just need to practice patience. As they say, “God will only put enough on your plate that you can handle if you let Him.” I’ve experienced it, so I truly believe it.



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