Trying to Stay Strong

To be honest, I’m not sure how much longer I can cope with working six days a week, accepting to work weekends and working long stretches before a day off. My reasons are selfish – I need the money. I’m still trying to adjust financially but it is taking a toll on my physically, mentally and spiritually. I’m just so exhausted.

I have committed to this schedule for the month of July. It’s almost over but in the meantime, I’ve noticed my patience with people is wearing very thin. The stupidity and arrogance of people just propel me over the edge. Unfortunately, I’m not able to just “walk away” (or I will lose my job). They are co-workers and residents I simply have to grind my teeth and smile.

At home, I knew the responsibility of owning a cat was going to be a difficult change.  Heart, my cat, is used to a certain routine for the last decade or more. She’s resorted to waking me up between 6 a.m. and 7 a.m. to be fed. If I try to ignore her, I receive a wet lick on the nose until I wake up.  Today it was 5:45 a.m. Unfortunately once I wake up, I’m up for a couple of hours until I can lay down (as I’m going to do after posting this). I feed her 1/2 can of wet in the morning and the other when I get home from work. There is a small dish of dry food if she’s hungry in between. After eating its all about getting love and attention. I’m okay with it but it goes on and on and on. When she walks away to lay down I have to (literally) sneak away quietly. The other day she played “dead to the world” but had that one eye open just in case, jump, up at the moment I tried to move. I have always loved this cat to death but I didn’t mean it literally.

In the meantime, I haven’t done much around the house. The windows all need measuring for curtains or coverings. At least once a week I throw a load of laundry but it only ends up sitting on my dryer unfolded. I still haven’t been to a grocery store to stock my cabinets and actually cook meals at home. There are simply things I want to do but either don’t have the money or the energy to do them.

Enough. I need pleasant thoughts to get some sleep.


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