A Kick in the Arse

Love and tolerance of others is our code.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

Today’s Daily Reflection talks about the forgiveness of others in all situations.

“Resentment, anger, or a desire to see someone punished,
are things that rot my soul.”

The last couple of weeks I have been neglecting myself. Instead thoughts of revenge and  vengeance have consumed me. I am simply exhausted worrying about what may happen in the future. Part of me knows I must “let it go” but the hurt, disappointment, guilt, fear and anger all swell up in me like a volcano ready to explode. Last night I begged and pleaded with my Higher Power to help me through my current situation.  I realize these intense feelings won’t go away right now, in an hour, a week, perhaps not even a month. I just have to listen to the messages and heed the words putting them in practice. It is a lesson thrown at me time and time again. So I must ask myself, “When are you going to get it?”

Life throws us curve balls and we just have to learn when to hit the home run.

Sometimes I feel like I take a step forward then ten steps back. For instance, I scrapped up all the money I could just to pay rent to the landlord yesterday. Now I have no brakes on my car and my heater doesn’t work. Someone proposed a conspiracy theory someone is trying to sabotage my life. I simply don’t believe it. But I won’t lie, as there is a small part of me that does.

Fear is the path to the dark side…fear leads to angeranger leads to hate…hate leads to suffering.” Yoda, The Phantom Menace.

The Daily Reflection really hit my nerve. I need to practice this principle. Instead of dwelling on the harm instead focus on tolerance, acceptance and forgiveness.  I simply need to change my “stinking thinking”. This is my goal today.

3 thoughts on “A Kick in the Arse

    1. You’re right. I do leave that time up to my HP! Just as I said about getting rid of all this negativity in my life, I’m patient. Whether its today, tomorrow, a week, month or more months; it’s not up to me. I’m just concerned about today and what I have to do to stay sober.

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