For the last year I have tried to create a new life for me. I changed jobs in hopes something new would come along I enjoyed. I moved to the country with hopes to build peace and serenity in my life on a daily basis. Lastly, I made goals and stuck to a budget (to the best of my ability). What I’ve learned most? Don’t trust a damn person but yourself and your Higher Power.
In sobriety, I learned to take responsibility for my actions, accepting the consequences and, after making a mental note of the lesson(s) learned, then I moved on. Sometimes I could see same cycle of patterns I have experienced in my past. What did I do? I did something different. Doing the same thing, expecting the same results, doesn’t work.
Trust must be earned, at least from me. I thought I had a good gauge of who was trustworthy in my life: employers, co-workers, friends, new people I’ve met in sobriety. Apparently I was completely wrong. At one point I literally felt like the Universe was pinning everyone against me. I went down a rabbit hole I vowed to never go down again.
The hardest part, at least for me, is trusting people ever again. Therefore, at least for now, and until proven otherwise, I will not trust another human being expect for my Higher Power. It’s unfortunate. I don’t want to become this type of person. It seems selfish, but from my viewpoint, at least now, I do so for my own protection and survival.
Don’t worry. I still post my Daily Readings. The readings help me throughout the day. It’s always been my hope they may help my readers. For anything else, I am a clam, closed shut, for now.