Moving On

At some time during the stay of a resident in a chemical dependency program it’s time to move on. The program no longer benefits us. If we choose, we have developed our own recovery plans to sustain us for the rest of our lives. All my cards may not be in place, just yet, but soon enough I’ll be moving on.

Part of me feels “stuck in the mud” right now. The waiting game is slowly eating away at me. I accept I have no control over the time it takes third parties to complete their respective processes when another is asking for help. However, I recognize the danger to me when I become stagnant in sobriety. Do I take control in my own hands? There are a few things I’m waiting to fall in place.

One priority for me is to get this major oral surgery done since I have the resources available to me. It’s scheduled for next week. Once I’ve recovered it will be another thing crossed of my list.

T has placed an application for housing with CAP. I appreciate his willingness to help me with housing. But I know I can’t wait the three to six months for their organization to get me in their system. Who knows, perhaps due to my situation, they may be able to help. However, I have learned if I don’t expect anything, I can’t be disappointed.

The Certified Peer Advocate funding, as I knew, won’t happen. I was willing to go through the process. My roommate was given a stern “no” when he went to his appointment, so why waste my time. It’s a shame you have good, honest, willing people to fill these positions, yet it all comes down to money. I get it – nothing is free.

I withdrew from Penn State due to funding. Yet, I applied at another local college who gives a discount to those with existing college credits. I’m waiting from the Financial Aid office to process my request. Again, I don’t put much hope this will work out but I still put in the effort and did my part.

Lastly, I have made a decision not to move in with my roommate. Over the last two weeks, he has exhibited intolerable, childish behavior. It’s interesting I came to this conclusion and today’s reading on codependency is about ending a relationship. Another example of how recovery works in my life.

There will be challenges in the weeks ahead for sure. But I’ve learned, this time around, to deal with them when they crop up – “One Day At A Time”. I’m at a place of peace and serenity in my life. I truly believe this is the path I should be walking down. Thus, I trust the process.

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